There are times when I find myself in class and we are watching something that is new to them – because they are all so fucking young – but is old news to me.

This can sometimes put me into a weird weird place that is painful to be in while watching favorite movies from my youth. In the trilogies class the other day we watched Terminator and I could tell I was enjoying the movie as a young girl that used to watch the film for the love story in the dark. I was captivated by Michael Biehn, captivated by that ridiculous idea that someone could fall in love with a photo.

Let’s not start with the time paradoxes of the film, I just found it to be a love story filled with sad beauty. Not so much the rest of the class. I felt old. Not because they were younger than me, but because we had different childhoods, we had different memories, because our ideas and relationships with the film were not something we could share.

It is so hard to share a movie that meant something to you as a little kid. It is like when you are fucking someone regularly and you decide to share some porn together. There is just this moment where one of you goes “Really?” There is just a bit of disbelief that often ends up happening. It is hard to share being a little nerd in the dark glued to a television screen with someone else.

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