say what I really think

Storm coming in, the sky is amazing. #walking #clouds #pretty

If I’m afraid to say what I really think, does that count as Logophobia? Or does it just mean I’m a chickenshit? When I sit and I listen to people talking to each other and I have a thought in my head and for the most part that thought is mean and cutting, is it better for me to swallow the words that would only hurt the people I’m keeping them from? Would it be better to say what is on my mind?

Am I afraid of the words? Am I afraid of the crusty horrors that grow in my head? Or in truth am I just afraid of people looking at me and having no interest in being my friend any longer? I’m no afraid of the words so much as I’m afraid of the disdain in people’s eyes. The disdain and dislike in the eyes of people that I love.

So why do the horrible mean thoughts crop up at all? If I’m so afraid of hurting or being hurt, why can’t I keep from having the horrible thoughts in the first place?

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