I am surrounded by people that share one of my passions and I feel so alone.
Is this a self-imposed isolation? Is it the age difference? Am I looking for reasons to keep myself away from everyone because it is easier to live in my head than to attempt sharing with people that might understand or listen to me?
Either way I’m tired and I get up too early and I walk around alone for hours as I wait for the movies to start or to end or get to another classroom where I’m sure to kind of fit in, but not really.
My brain wants to join in, but then I see all their faces and they all seem so much smarter and more full of promise than I ever felt in my life. I love being here, but I feel like I’ve been given a gift sweater that is totally in my colors, makes my eyes pop, but is two sizes too big. I keep holding it up under my chin, and everyone goes, ‘Oh Wow! That looks so great on you!’ But I’m never ever going to put it on and wear it anywhere. A sweater I love and is so great in theory, and on the hanger.