Let me state a relatively obvious fact. I have a problem with depression. Sometimes this problem is very big. Sometimes this problem is small enough to be livable and I walk around just like a person with no problems at all.
But I have depression.
I am finding out I have some other issues and some shit that I really have no interest in dealing with – which apparently make depression worse – who knew? If you don’t deal with your issues, you make your depression worse, fun fact, jot it down and keep it in your trivia file.
Anyway on the 20th of September I was admitted in to an inpatient facility for suicidal depression. I am not sure if writing about this will help or not, but as my blog has evolved over the years it has become clear to me that if nothing else it is pretty much a blog for me. Over half the stuff I post is so that when I forget it later, I can just read it and remember. This is not happy memory stuff, but it is important stuff for me to remember.
Quick notes: 1) nobody has to read this, 2) I am posting this to the days when things happened, but writing it after the days occurred based on journal entries – it may be a little gappy, and 3) I was on a lock down unit and all the pictures were taken by family so I would have happy things to look at when I got home.