Today I did a training at work. It went fairly well, and people had really kind feedback. While I was doing the training, and then went back to my desk to put together the information to send to everyone that couldn’t come to the training I felt strange.
I’m doing more and more things at work that I both enjoy, and at which I excel. I feel like I’m beginning to accept the fact that I’m good at my job. I don’t think I’ve felt proud of myself at a job in a really long time. I’ve had a long series of weird, awful, and just icky jobs over the years, but as I do more things that I really want to do – go to school – go to therapy – encourage my family – write write write – I feel that the job I have now isn’t so awful.
Of course then when I was back at my desk and feeling proud of my progress, I saw my little Pocoyo toys and I thought to myself that no freaking one could take me seriously. Then on the flip side, if I don’t take myself seriously, then I don’t have to doubt or hate myself. I can just smile at my desk toys and let negative shit roll right off. Just accepting me a little bit more every day.