I like to think that at some point along the way I was actually an excited and exuberant person. I like to think that once upon a time I had original and amazing ideas.
Sometimes I feel like that person is really inside of me. But my exuberance always seems to be tempered with fear. I want to get good at something and then be given praise, and the little kid inside of me feels like I’m constantly asking for attention and then not getting the attention I actually want.
“Look at me, Look at me, Look at me!!! Are you looking at me? LOOOOK AT MEEEEE!!”
Wait, I wasn’t ready, go back, don’t look. I’ll get it right and call you back.
Is it exuberance I’m missing, or confidence, or do I just have really bad timing and fall every time someone actually takes a look at what I’m up to?