saving lives everywhere I go

Me: I got to the gym like fifteen minutes later than usual which is apparently like missing the golden window in traffic.

Her: Too many people?

Me: Too many stupid people.

Her: How stupid could someone be at the gym?

Me: One dude asked me how to use the pool.

Her: If they want to know something like that you are obligated to drown them.

Me: I think that would’ve made me even later.

Her: Another life saved because you have a schedule.

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