Him: I don’t get this song.
Me: He is singing about how sexy she is and how he loves licking and kissing her.
Him: Never say licking again. I get what it means mom, I just don’t get why it had to be a song and not just a bunch of things you whisper to someone at night in bed.
Me: Because women want to feel beautiful. Well everyone wants to feel sexy at least. So write it down and make money on a song.
Him: Even you? Even you want to feel beautiful?
Me: Even me. But I would not believe anyone that said my body is a wonderland. I would just laugh.
Him: Too sappy?
Me: Too unrealistic. My body is more like a country carnival than any kind of wonderland body.
Me: Yeah my body seems like a great idea at night when you’re drunk, but you would never go near any of these rides in the cold light of dawn.
Him: Okay. Ew.
Me: Just saying.