Picture Tree

We don’t have a Christmas tree this year. This is mostly my fault. My family is more secular than religious and inside the house the three of us living here have radically different beliefs. Of course none of that has anything to do with fat loot and a big tree to stuff gifts under.

I haven’t got it in me to be happy this year at Christmas. I haven’t got it in me to fake it. I know, I know I need therapy to get over this overwhelming angry sadness that just sits on my chest right now whenever I try to think of something cheery.

I know some of it is losing my best friend this year, I know some of it is trying to reconcile who I am with who I wanted to be, and I know some of it is just financial – ah money the fuel of many a holiday breakdown fire. As the holiday comes ever closer, I’m trying, I really am, but all I’ve got is fury and tears to offer anyone in my life.

I can’t hide forever, I thought maybe I could cheer myself up with pictures and ask others to point me to pretty ornament pics, and then I can just pretend to have a tree, maybe having my own kind of Buddhist internal Christmas tree (which seems blasphemous on some level) will help me lighten up on everyone around here.

Here are some of the ornament pics I’ve found, anyone know any others?

Update 17:30
Thanks for the emails, and the kind words. Here are three of the photostreams that were pointed out to me.


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4 Responses to Picture Tree

  1. Rhoda IV says:

    Oh honey, I’m sop sorry you had shitty luck this year. I’m also not digging the holidays right now, so a very merry bah humbug to you. Hope everything starts looking up for you girl, you deserve the best.

  2. girlzoot says:

    I know things will work out, and thank you for your kind words.

    Things can’t suck forever, nature abhors a vacuum, right?

    Merry Bah Humbug to you too sweetie!

  3. Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) says:

    Some years are a lot harder than others. I’m so very sorry to hear of the loss of your best friend. My husband’s best friend suddenly died one year over the holidays- real tough.

    We’re a mixture of beliefs here, too, all apart from the mainstream of what most consider during this time of year. (Being different reminds me of your header: the muppet…) Take care

  4. girlzoot says:

    This year has been harder than others, almost like the wind has been sucked from my lungs.

    I’m not sure when things will get better, but I keep muddling through, thanks for your understanding.


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