Do They Really Say That?

Me: Where did you hear that?
Boy: It was actually on television.
Me: What show?
Boy: Some beauty contest.
Me: They were talking about turn ons on regular tv?
Boy: Now it was MTV or something.
Me: Oh. So what was bugging you?
Boy: They all said stupid things.
Me: What did you think they were going to really say were real turn-ons?
Boy: That would be helpful. I mean it is like Penthouse and Playboy.
Me: Yes, the best place to turn for turn-ons advice.
Boy: Right, they all say they like long walks and sunsets.
Me: Yes guaranteed to make a woman super hot.
Boy: That is what I’m saying, I just want something that actually tells me what are real turn-ons.
Me: Let me tell you like a good piece of like actual advice, ask the person.
Boy: That’s just crazy talk, ask?
Me: I know, like talk to the person you want to have sex with, ask them if they like it when you kiss them, lick them, touch them, or bark or whatever.
Boy: Nope I think I’m going to stick with assuming that rainbows and puppies and smiley faces make all girls have hard nipples and that long walks and sunsets make them super horny.
Me: Good luck with that.
Boy: Oh you know it, and you know war is their only turnoff. Everything else is solid.
Me: Yeah, okay keep the dream alive.

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