My brain races and every single solitary thing seems like a better option than what I’m doing right this second. I have so much on my mind and when this happens I tend to pretend that I can escape. That I can do anything. That I should do anything. That I should buy some land in the country and lay in the grass and count stars in the evenings and spin in circles during the day. That I should read books or screen movies or open stores or get in my car and drive north until it is cold enough all year round that I need not worry about overheating ever again.
But these thoughts don’t pay my bills or take care of my family. So here I stay and I try to make the things I’ve got work in the way I know how to make things work. Which is to say not great, but not horribly. Now I need to keep up with the goals I’ve set for myself and try and figure out what it means to me to keep up with my goals in the next year or so and keep in mind that there is no need to run away just because I want to count stars.
I can just take a walk and count them where I find them, I don’t need to run away to find them.