Tag Archives: fear

Thinking in the yard.

I like to think that at some point along the way I was actually an excited and exuberant person. I like to think that once upon a time I had original and amazing ideas. Sometimes I feel like that person … Continue reading

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#prayforpeace

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Just a Thought

The cracking ice inside her was being replaced with a spongy fear, as if a monster were trying to swim up out of her guts and swallow her whole. She bit her lower lip and breathed hard, trying to drive … Continue reading

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Just a Thought

The only rule that ever made sense to me I learned from a history, not an economics, professor at Wharton. “Fear,” he used to say, “fear is the most valuable commodity in the universe.” That blew me away. “Turn on … Continue reading

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Just a Thought

Brilliance. Sheer fucking brilliance. Conventional executions might have reinforced discipline, might have restored order from the top down, but by making us all accomplices, they held us together not just by fear, but by guilt as well. We could have … Continue reading

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Just a Thought

Personally, I think that’s a big ’ole sack of it. Sure, we were unprepared, our tools, our training, everything I just talked about, all one class-A, gold-standard clusterfuck, but the weapon that really failed wasn’t something that rolled off an … Continue reading

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Birds fall from the roof of this building, and I keep hearing Mr. Mastadon Farm by Cake playing in my head.

There are so many different people now – I am overwhelmed, but I’m trying to keep all my information together, all my thoughts in order, all my ideas together. Something about the constant rotation of people is distressing and structure … Continue reading

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We need adult supervision.

I’m nervous about what comes next. I am unsure about investing in, or attempting to be myself. I am unsure about putting my faith in myself. People do it. People put faith in themselves; people even put faith in me. … Continue reading

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Our facility is located behind a Toys-R-Us. There is some kind of joke there, other than cosmic.

I keep thinking to myself that I’ve made the right decision. Right? This has to be the right decision. You have to make a good decision to get better. That is what they keep telling me. They they they they … Continue reading

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No. Just No. No. No. No. No. No.

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