Totally What’s Happening
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The Stuff From Before
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Tag Archives: suicidal
Birds fall from the roof of this building, and I keep hearing Mr. Mastadon Farm by Cake playing in my head.
There are so many different people now – I am overwhelmed, but I’m trying to keep all my information together, all my thoughts in order, all my ideas together. Something about the constant rotation of people is distressing and structure … Continue reading
I’m nervous about what comes next. I am unsure about investing in, or attempting to be myself. I am unsure about putting my faith in myself. People do it. People put faith in themselves; people even put faith in me. … Continue reading
There are just so many people coming and going, my skull is killing me and I know the noise level will rise to a point where I will lose all interest in the words and my comfort will be gone … Continue reading
Someone has taped a dead ladybug to the forest painting in the group room. I can’t decide if that is a sweet gesture or horrible reality.
The day is another blur. The increase in my medication is making my brain a little slow, a little wobbly. I think it will be better, but I’m still unsure. Still nervous about going forward so fast and yet the … Continue reading
Things feel largely out of proportion. Small things seem huge, and the really big issues feel much more easily put off so I can just concentrate on the small things. If I don’t have shoes I don’t have to think … Continue reading
There are faces and names and they swim in and out. I think descriptions at them to try and keep them separate in my head. So many have children. So many have hopes. So many have lives. We all have … Continue reading
I keep thinking to myself that I’ve made the right decision. Right? This has to be the right decision. You have to make a good decision to get better. That is what they keep telling me. They they they they … Continue reading
Let me state a relatively obvious fact. I have a problem with depression. Sometimes this problem is very big. Sometimes this problem is small enough to be livable and I walk around just like a person with no problems at … Continue reading